it’s actually been a hell of a month. events stacked on top of events. it’s been exhausting, and because i’ve missed so much time from work, i can’t actually take a mental health day. i’m so glad i have a holiday tomorrow. if it weren’t for three-day weekends, i’d be pretty fucked right about now.

highlights:
* happy bunny keyboard stickers on my lappy.
* muji mini stapler from the moca ecstasy exhibit.
* daikokuya pork bowls
* shabu shabu (after 2 years, salty and i finally did it).
* my retroactive raise coming in.
* my new manhattan portage laptop bag
* getting two bouquets of flowers for valentine’s day–one for tuesday, and another for the following friday.

overall, it’s been a good, high-low week/month…

oooh, or what about one of these bad boys

…is in about a month. i definitely want to spend some time in vegas, and coincidentally, jnb3 will be going as well. i’m almost certain that salty will be joining us for the ride. the question is, what would i like to spend my birthday money to myself on? i’d like to go outlet shopping, but i’m going to hold off on buying new clothes until i get my “skinny bitch” body back (you hear that fat, you’re leaving me!). the main question is, do i want to blow my wad on jewelry from my gemologist cousin’s shop (where i get things at cost), or do i want me one of these? i know it’s a refurb, but there’s no way i can justify a factory fresh one for myself.

so, salty and i were driving on the silverlake/echo park end of sunset, and found a little antique shop that had bookshelf that matched mine. i’m thinking i can get a super duper deal for it (i.e. 40 bucks), being that a new one at ikea will cost about $100. i walk in, ask her how much it’ll cost. she says, “$200.” i’m floored. i explain to her that it’s an ikea bookshelf where i can get it for half the price. she drops it to $150. i’m still flabergasted. she says that she needs to recoup the costs of having it delivered to her store. that’s absolutely rediculous.

i talked to antonin about it. he reasoned that being silverlake, and the hipsters around (my brother likes to call them “human dander”) are probably willing to pay for it to be shipped and assembled. unlike the hipsters in my neighborhood, i’m broke, and not.

i’m having crises on multiple fronts

on the financial end, i’ve come to the revelation that i’m perpetually broke. and i’m slowly understanding why i’m always low on funds. i shop. a lot. i eat out. a lot. i need a major overhaul of how i spend my money. i’m really glad that salty’s got a job that looks stable (with benefits!). we opened a joint checking account for going out together that we will both put money into. i also opened another checking account that will be the holder of my fun money/shopping money. so, if i want something, i’d have to save for it through that account. because everyone knows i have no sense of control when it comes to wanting stuff (i should also take the “shopping” tab off my safari). the account is for things like food, because that’s considered fun for me; and things for my house, because, for the most part, i don’t need it. i’m hoping that this will help. a lot. i can’t be broke all the time.

i’m also having a minor crisis of spirituality. i went to confession on saturday, for the first time in about seven years. the last time i went, the priest wouldn’t give me absolution because i only went to appease my mother. this time, the priest ( a different one) wouldn’t give me absolution either. it was because i wouldn’t atone for my sins. i honestly don’t think that i’ve done anything i should be sorry for. i fornicate, but i don’t adulter. i covet, but i don’t steal (much). in the grand scheme of things, i do consider myself a good person. i’m not sure if i consider myself a good christian, but i’m not sure if i want to. i don’t think i’m in a spiritual void, but i do believe i need to do more reflecting on my life, where i stand with my Creator/Creatrix, and where i stand with myself.