this was my dinner tonight–i made it all on the fly:

1-1/4ish pound filet mahi mahi
1 lemon
sprig of dill
1/2 pound spaghetti
1 T olive oil
1/2 small onion
1 garlic bomb
1 basil bomb
1/2 cup small tomatoes, halved
1/2 cup asparagus spears, cut to 1-inch segments
1 medium yellow bell pepper, cut into 1-inch strips
1/4 white wine
1/2 T chicken base
salt and pepper

* cook pasta in salted water until al dente.
* meanwhile, season fish with salt and pepper; poach in lemon zest, lemon juice, 1/4 cup water, and dill. let cool then flake.
* after pasta is al dente, drain. sweat onion in olive oil on medium-high heat, add garlic and basil bombs, then tomatoes and asparagus. let asparagus cook for a minute, then add peppers. deglaze with wine, add chicken base. let cook for a minute or two.
* add pasta and fish to vegetables, toss and serve.

yum!

the worst foods in america…

going through this article from men’s health magazine. the awesome blossom from chili’s is 2,700 calories. sure, you share it, but among four people, you’re still getting over 500 calories worth of grossness. no wonder we’re all so thick in our middles.

it makes me want to have a celery stick with a glass of lemon water.

so, i’ve been going to the gym about three to four times a week since salty’s left. but i’m just not losing fast enough. i’m down to 130, which i’m ok with, but i’d like to be down another five or ten pounds by fiji time. that means that exercise alone won’t cut it. i’ve got to put in caloric restriction as well. sucks. i hate limiting my food intake. i’ve had the eating disorder, and i’ve learned that i truly love food, but i don’t like the feeling of eating. but that i’d deal with the full feeling because i loved food.

beh. futhamuckas.

so, i’m weening myself off of high fructose corn syrup, and i’m trying (though unsuccessfully) taking food colorings out of my diet too (not that there’s anything wrong with them, but i don’t think my food needs any coal tar in it). but i need to wage a different war on sodium lauryl sufate (sls). it’s the additive that makes stuff foam it’s in a lot of things like soap, shampoo. my problem is when it’s in my toothpaste and mouthwash. i’m among the 15% of the population that has an allergic reaction to it. it’s causing canker sores.

i’ve done a lot of research about it, and most of it points to the sls additives, but other causes are stress (hello!), menstrual cycling (check!), nutritional deficiencies (got them too), genetics (dad’s been known to get them), and taking nsaids (take them too). as far as i’m concerned, i’m their fucking poster girl.

so, yesterday, at our monthly trip to whole paycheck foods, i found a new toothpaste that i don’t mind the flavor of. i got the powersmile with coenzyme q10. it cost a lot ($5.50 a tube), but if it means i never get another canker sore, that’s worth it. plus, it takes like 2 months to finish a tube by myself anyway (salty said he won’t be sharing it with me.).

so, in short, i’m not a health freak. really. i’m not. but i take vitamins (multi, c, Ω-3, garlic, condroitin, gingko biloba, and i probably should add a b complex and l-lysine), i buy special soda that doesn’t have corn syrup, i have special toothpaste, and i try to drink 1.5L of water a day. i’m really not a health freak.

129 pounds…sweet…

i’ve been on my skinny biotech diet for about a week now, and i feel good. i’m not as hungry as i thought i would be, which is a good thing because i get very cranky when i don’t eat. i’m not exactly sure if i’ve lost any actual weight, as i don’t acutally own a scale. i’ll weigh myself when i get to my parents house (when my mom when on her weight loss binge, my dad bought her a super fancy bathroom scale. nothing says “i love you” like a bathroom scale that’ll scrutinize your physical beauty).

ben says i should have a day off every now and then, to give myself morale and stuff. i will as soon as i drop 10ish pounds. it’ll be a reward for a job well done. either that, or one day off every two week, besides, salty’s making my dinners for me, and they’re pretty damned tasty. i want to be able to lose weight relatively quickly, but safely. my ultimate goal is 20 pounds by june, but 15 is probably more realistic.

the good part about this diet, is that i’m reacquainting myself with my love of vegetables. i’m back to mostly green things, and only white meat. i used to not eat too much red meat (though i do have a very soft spot for ham), and it saves me money because beef is expensive.

i’m feeling good, and i have fake sugar. yay! fake sugar!

my birthday is my target date to look perfect. or as close to perfect as i can get.

yesterday, i visited a dermatologist and got several recommendations for evening out my skin tone and making it look younger. i’ve come to a few conclusions:
1. wash my face more often with either benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid.
2. use of alpha- and beta-hydroxy acids (eucerin for my body, turnarouond creme for my face)

weightloss should be relatively low-key:
1. drink more water
2. only one soda a day that either is diet or has no high fructose corn syrup, and only after i’ve had more than one liter of water.
3. take my vitamins on a more regular basis (those who remember to take their gingko don’t need to take it).
4. only eat when i’m hungry, not to excess (but i loooove excess eating!), and choose healthier options (no more cherry garcía??).
5. cow-orker and i are going to go for walks during our lunch breaks. twice around the school is one mile. that’s doable.
6. evening walks, and not passing out after i’ve eaten.

i’m not going to be obsessive over it, but i’m looking forward it being a skinny bitch again.

the big three:

weight: 20 pounds in six months. i’ll settle for 10.
money: just save, dammit.
work: work my way up. i have a five year plan. stick to it.

monday, december 19th, 2005, i start my skinny bitch diet. my sister’s wedding is in six months. i’m almost 140 pounds. my goal is to lose 20 pounds in six months. i can do that.

my general problem with most diets that i’ve gone on is that i made things unattainable. i’m going to do things in slow and easy ways. my eating habbits are pretty healthy, but i tend to eat too much. portion control is something i can do. and i’ll take walks during my breaks when i get back to work. cut down on my sugar and candy intake (fruit is better than candy anyway). low fat foods. i can do this. and be sane at the same time.

but tonight, i gorge.

yesterday’s input: 1.5 L water; bowl of pho and vietnamese iced coffee; soft serve and shared hotdog from ikea; taco hell (1 nacho supreme, i soft taco supreme, 1/2 grilled stuft chicken burrito)
yesterday’s output: 1/2 hour cardio on the elliptical machine, ab work.

today, i’m off to the gym and then i’m going to pop into work and do an observation of a cow-orker (i’m a master teacher, scary). i think i may be staying after hours to do some posters and lesson plan and work on my credentialling stuff…misery loves company, y’know?