i’m having crises on multiple fronts
on the financial end, i’ve come to the revelation that i’m perpetually broke. and i’m slowly understanding why i’m always low on funds. i shop. a lot. i eat out. a lot. i need a major overhaul of how i spend my money. i’m really glad that salty’s got a job that looks stable (with benefits!). we opened a joint checking account for going out together that we will both put money into. i also opened another checking account that will be the holder of my fun money/shopping money. so, if i want something, i’d have to save for it through that account. because everyone knows i have no sense of control when it comes to wanting stuff (i should also take the “shopping” tab off my safari). the account is for things like food, because that’s considered fun for me; and things for my house, because, for the most part, i don’t need it. i’m hoping that this will help. a lot. i can’t be broke all the time.
i’m also having a minor crisis of spirituality. i went to confession on saturday, for the first time in about seven years. the last time i went, the priest wouldn’t give me absolution because i only went to appease my mother. this time, the priest ( a different one) wouldn’t give me absolution either. it was because i wouldn’t atone for my sins. i honestly don’t think that i’ve done anything i should be sorry for. i fornicate, but i don’t adulter. i covet, but i don’t steal (much). in the grand scheme of things, i do consider myself a good person. i’m not sure if i consider myself a good christian, but i’m not sure if i want to. i don’t think i’m in a spiritual void, but i do believe i need to do more reflecting on my life, where i stand with my Creator/Creatrix, and where i stand with myself.